
Q: What’s wrong with this picture?
A: Neither of the root vegetables pictured are yams. Both, in fact, are sweet potatoes.
(Spotted at the Super Val 16 Market)
Hold on here. Unlimited mobile phone service for a tiny fraction of what I’m paying now? That sounds too good to be true.
Let’s take a closer look.
Ah, there’s the rub. That’s the price for seven days of phone service. (Because who needs a phone longer than a week, right?)
$13.99 per week is what us normal people call “$60 per month.” Suddenly that amazing deal doesn’t sound so amazing, does it?
(Spotted at the dollar store at Mission and 17th.)
Has this ever happened to you — you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, when you see something out of the corner of your eye. Is it… no, yes? It’s a salsa lid. Stuck into one of those underground PG&E electric box covers.
And now suddenly you realize it’s time for a burrito. Sure you just ate an hour ago, but that salsa lid is calling out to you. It’s planted the suggestion into your mind. You’re already thinking about which kind of salsa to get (tomatillo, FYI.)
PG&E, why are you doing this to us? Every time we walk over one of these things you’re triggering our burrito reflex. You know it, I know it, it’s no secret.
Stop making us fat, PG&E.
Remember, when you pretend that your mega-corporation is my “neighbor,” you might check that the return address is not 2,000 miles away.
Got that, AT&T?
Good. Now go sit in the corner with Ubisoft for your time out.
Mission Public SF, an upcoming gastropub one can only assume is named after a public restroom, has relocated prior to opening.
Originally slated to open on Mission and 15th, the restaurant is now being built instead in the former Om Shan Tea space at the corner of 14th and Natoma.
As you may recall, Om Shan Tea ran into some financial troubles but managed to reopen, only to be shut down by the police because of the owner’s other business ventures.
Hopefully the new restaurant will be a success. And if it doesn’t work out, well hey, they can always turn to selling acid.
Yes folks, Bombay Bazaar is officially out of business.
You may recall Bombay Bazaar was once on Valencia, selling Indian ice cream along with various Indian groceries. Their old building at 550 Valencia had some issues, to put it mildly, and was largely rebuilt before transforming into Chevy’s West of Pecos.
Bombay Bazaar relocated to a much less pedestrian friendly spot near Rainbow, but alas, it was not to be. From now on, anyone in need of hard to find Indian foods and ingredients will have to make a trek outside the Mission. Scary, I know.
Next time you’re getting a $60 haircut and going out for gringo Indian food, rest easy knowing that you’re safe under the watchful gaze of Shirtless Dog Man.
Before we go any further I’d like to dispel a common misconception. Contrary to popular belief, Shirtless Dog Man is not, in fact, a dog. He is a man with the head of a dog, and the shirtlessness of a man.
Wait, what’s that, you say? You are more afraid with Shirtless Dog Man watching your back? Try to think of it as a neighborhood watch program. And there’s no need to be racist here — just because Shirtless Dog Man is a chimera-American doesn’t mean he’s a criminal. The truth is, Shirtless Dog Man is keeping you safe.
When you’ve got a sublet to rent out, where do you go? Craigslist? Whatever, dude. That’s so 2012. What, are you stuck living in the past?
No way. Now it’s all about using your wifi SSID to sell goods and services.
You don’t need to sell out to the man (Craig Newmark.) You can advertise all by yourself without even leaving the comfort of your home WAN.
(Spotted in the Mission.)
Look, I know you love the 49ers. You’re a rabid fan; painting yourself in the team colors, going to every game, drinking until you pass out.
But you can’t show your appreciation for a team by scraping their logo into the cement. No, not because you’re defacing public property, but because you’re violating precious NFL trademarks.
Football is a business, and by stealing the NFL’s intellectual property, you’re basically stealing from your favorite players. How are they going to put food on the table for their families?
So next time, instead of scratching team names into wet cement, let’s show our true love for our local teams the only way we can — by purchasing officially licensed $60 jerseys.
Travel, movies, comedy, tech, and whatever I find on the streets of San Francisco.
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Contact: mrericsir “at” gmail.com
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