Remember, when you pretend that your mega-corporation is my “neighbor,” you might check that the return address is not 2,000 miles away.
Got that, AT&T?
Good. Now go sit in the corner with Ubisoft for your time out.
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Mission Public SF moves before opening
Mission Public SF, an upcoming gastropub one can only assume is named after a public restroom, has relocated prior to opening.
Originally slated to open on Mission and 15th, the restaurant is now being built instead in the former Om Shan Tea space at the corner of 14th and Natoma.
As you may recall, Om Shan Tea ran into some financial troubles but managed to reopen, only to be shut down by the police because of the owner’s other business ventures.
Hopefully the new restaurant will be a success. And if it doesn’t work out, well hey, they can always turn to selling acid.
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Bombay Bazaar goes bust
Yes folks, Bombay Bazaar is officially out of business.
You may recall Bombay Bazaar was once on Valencia, selling Indian ice cream along with various Indian groceries. Their old building at 550 Valencia had some issues, to put it mildly, and was largely rebuilt before transforming into Chevy’s West of Pecos.
Bombay Bazaar relocated to a much less pedestrian friendly spot near Rainbow, but alas, it was not to be. From now on, anyone in need of hard to find Indian foods and ingredients will have to make a trek outside the Mission. Scary, I know.
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Something finally happening at 17th and Shotwell
The perpetually vacant storefront in the ODC Theater building at 17th and Shotwell finally has signs of an impending tenant.
As you may recall, this space was briefly home to a coffee cart called Pronto which was run by the Bar Bambino people. They claimed they were going to build it out into a full cafe. Instead they closed it and then closed Bar Bambino.
According to the Melange Market Facebook page, it’s going to be a cafe. A link to an Inside Scoop article claims this cafe is run by the people behind AQ, that fancypants restaurant that’s oddly placed in SOMA’s butthole over at Mission and 7th.
Does the area really need another cafe? Probably not. But who can say no to coffee and pastries?
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Shirtless Dog Man watches over Valencia
Next time you’re getting a $60 haircut and going out for gringo Indian food, rest easy knowing that you’re safe under the watchful gaze of Shirtless Dog Man.
Before we go any further I’d like to dispel a common misconception. Contrary to popular belief, Shirtless Dog Man is not, in fact, a dog. He is a man with the head of a dog, and the shirtlessness of a man.
Wait, what’s that, you say? You are more afraid with Shirtless Dog Man watching your back? Try to think of it as a neighborhood watch program. And there’s no need to be racist here — just because Shirtless Dog Man is a chimera-American doesn’t mean he’s a criminal. The truth is, Shirtless Dog Man is keeping you safe.
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How to advertise your sublet in San Francisco
When you’ve got a sublet to rent out, where do you go? Craigslist? Whatever, dude. That’s so 2012. What, are you stuck living in the past?
No way. Now it’s all about using your wifi SSID to sell goods and services.
You don’t need to sell out to the man (Craig Newmark.) You can advertise all by yourself without even leaving the comfort of your home WAN.
(Spotted in the Mission.)
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Sidewalk trademark violation
Look, I know you love the 49ers. You’re a rabid fan; painting yourself in the team colors, going to every game, drinking until you pass out.
But you can’t show your appreciation for a team by scraping their logo into the cement. No, not because you’re defacing public property, but because you’re violating precious NFL trademarks.
Football is a business, and by stealing the NFL’s intellectual property, you’re basically stealing from your favorite players. How are they going to put food on the table for their families?
So next time, instead of scratching team names into wet cement, let’s show our true love for our local teams the only way we can — by purchasing officially licensed $60 jerseys.
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Facebook’s targeted advertising isn’t
ZOMG with all these new privacy violations Facebook advertisers know EVERYTHING about you and stalk your every movement and…
…wait, they think I want Mission burritos delivered to the Marina?
Never mind.
I mean, they’re right about me being lazy enough to get a burrito delivered instead of walking three blocks, but the Marina? Come on.
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Make Copy’s Key’s
On Mission near 17th there’s a handwritten sign in a store window that reads:
Make
Copy’s
Key’sQ: Can you spot the gramatical errors on the above sign?
A: No. There are so many problems it’s impossible to assign a concrete number. For example, should the sign say “We make copies of keys”? Or maybe it could simply read “Keys copied”? Regardless, there’s more than one correct answer. The only thing we can say for certain is that apostrophes should not be involved. -
The iPhone with the untraceable manufacturer
“The tech inside is military grade, I can’t even trace the manufacturer.”
— Arrow season 1 episode 10Come on, your average Best Buy employee could “trace the manufacturer” of an iPhone 4. I’m starting to think this town only needs Archer McRockabs because of their incompetent police force.
Arrow hooks you with action and drama, but you’ll stay for the facepalm-worthy moments.
About Eric
Travel, movies, comedy, tech, and whatever I find on the streets of San Francisco.
Contact: mrericsir “at” gmail.com
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