• It’s a trap! Why American bathrooms don’t smell awful

    Why European bathrooms stink
    Above: a sink with no trap

    Do you ever get up in the morning, head to the bathroom, take a nice deep breath and proclaim, “Gee, I’m sure glad my bathroom doesn’t smell like shit!”

    Of course not. Because as an American, you live in a country where bathrooms only smell terrible after someone has recently defecated.

    What you may not realize is that most of the world isn’t so lucky. In fact, even modern European countries have bathrooms that smell absolutely terrible at all times. The smell often noticeably makes its way to the rest of the building, and I say this as someone who’s hard of smelling.

    So why is America different? IT’S A TRAP!

    Ever since British plumbing guru Thomas Crapper invented the U-shaped “trap,” pretty much every sink drain in the US has used his design. Go look under a sink and see for yourself.

    The purpose of this invention is to contain a small amount of water in the U section that air cannot escape through. This prevents foul gas from the sewers from rising into your house and making your bathroom stink.

    For some reason in much of Europe, Mexico, etc. the trap never gained much traction. Instead, people prefer to save a couple bucks on plumbing (see above photo) and pretend that the disgusting sewer smell is normal.

    There’s plenty of things I’ll never understand about the rest of the world. This is #1 on that list.

  • 12.5 ounce Coke

    12.5 oz?

    Ever had a 12 oz can of Coca-Cola and thought, “Gee, that was refreshing, but I could have used an extra 1/2 oz”?

    If you said yes, they’ve got the product for you: a 12.5 oz bottle of Coke.

    The same gas station with this sign also advertised a 16 oz bottle of Pepsi. Presumably that’s for people who need an extra four ounces, but don’t want to spring a standard 20 oz bottle.

  • DIY Mason jar soap dispenser

    Mason jar soap dispenser

    Here’s a DIY project that’s actually useful: a soap dispenser built into a Mason jar. It’s stupidly easy, so if you have no talent but want to jumpstart your Etsy career, this is for you. 
     
    Ingredients

    1. Mason jar, or whatever.
    Mason jar or you could use a cool looking peanut butter jar, etc. I’m told Mason jars are hip, it’s what the cool kids are using these days. The jar is your choice, but it does need to have a metal lid.

    2. Kitchen sink soap dispenser.
    You ever see these? Some kitchen sinks have a special hole and you can put a soap dispenser in there. Don’t buy one of the cheap-o ones, those break after a month or two (trust me on this.) Delta makes a sturdy one you can get for ~$35.

     Tools

     
    A drill, etc.
    Something that makes holes in metal.

    Scissors.
    Or a knife, you need to cut plastic.

      
    Instructions

     
    As you probably guessed, the only step is to punch a hole in the top of the jar’s lid and screw in the soap dispenser in to that hole.

    You can drill one big hole if you have the proper sized drill bit, or you could just drill a bunch of small holes to perforate the lid and safely remove the middle part out with a pair of pliers. The hole doesn’t need to be perfect; the soap dispenser is much wider than the part that fits through the hole.

    You’ll likely need to cut the soap dispenser’s straw/hose so that it fits in the jar.

    Okay, you’re done! add soap and wash your filthy hands.

  • I am a Cybear now…

    Cybear

    The above teddy bear recently appeared on Clarion Alley. Red and blue like a 3D comic, his speech bubble reads “I am a cybear now…” The poor teddy bear. Someone needs to sew his little button eye back on.

    Across the way on the pavement there’s a simplified version of the full painting:

    Cybear

  • White iPhone spotted in 1987 film RoboCop

    In a previous post, I pointed out what appears to be a white iPhone 4 or 4S model in a 1993 Star Trek episode.

    Turns out the white iPhone design dates back even earlier.

    Here’s a frame of the 1987 film RoboCop, approximately 30 minutes in to the film.

    It’s described as a handheld mapping device. While it may not look much like an iPhone at first glance, notice the dimensions and how it’s held with a portrait orientation.

    But there’s more to it than that. Much more:

    In the above frame, approximately 1:08 into the film, we see Dick Jones (played by Ronny Cox) holding a different version of the RoboCop tracking device.

    Immediately after, we see a POV shot of this second model:

    Notice anything iPhone-like about this?

    No, not the crappy iOS 6 maps. I meant the rectangular portrait shape and rounded corners.

    Thankfully, Apple’s patent on physical shapes was invalidated, ensuring the future of Omni Consumer Product’s line of cyborg police officers won’t involve patent infringement.

  • A better way to fix our gadgets

    Until now, the process for solving technical problems involved Googling around for advice on forum posts and help pages.

    The advice is always the same, isn’t it?

    1. Follow an obscure sequence of commands.
    2. Now try again.
    3. If there’s comments on the page, at least a dozen will have conflicting reports about the outcome of these steps.
    4. If it doesn’t work, go back to Google and look around some more.

    Of course the tech geeks could be messing with you. By following the advice your TV won’t turn off and your wedding photos are permanently deleted. Who knows.

    Fortunately there’s now a better way to solve basic technical problems; devices that STFU when you smack them. Microsoft has invented the first phone you can physically abuse when you need it to just shut up for a minute so you can think for once, goddamn it.

    I’d suspect that if this feature seems intuitive, you shouldn’t have kids. But then again people have been smacking their TVs for decades so the gesture is already in our collective consciousness. And who wouldn’t want a TV that stops breaking when you hit it?

    Besides, not all emotionally responsive technology needs to involve violence. How about a flashlight that turns up the brightness when you’re shaking in terror? Or cars that soothe anxious drivers with relaxing music to prevent road rage? Or a bathroom scale that subtracts some weight if the user is crying?

    There’s all kinds of ways our gadgets could be made fixable that don’t involve following the advice of strangers online. Get with it, tech companies.

    And let me know when you have a computer that works better when I start cursing under my breath and slamming on the keyboard. I’ll be first in line to buy it.

  • New iPhone 5 “Lightning” connector predicted in 1999

    If you follow tech news at all, you know that Apple is replacing their large iPod connector with a new smaller connector for the iPhone 5 called “Lightning.”

    Most folks who follow Apple would assume that the name Lightning is a reference to Apple’s new Mac connector port called “Thunderbolt.” But is it?

    The above screenshot is from the 1999 film Fight Club, which depicts the Apple logo in a store window next to the word “Lightning.” Coincidence? Sure, it probably is. But still, it’s odd to see the connection in a thirteen year old film.

  • Unfortunate pun in fortune cookie

    photo.JPG

    This is an actual fortune from a fortune cookie at Big Lantern on 16th. You can’t make shit like this up:

    Are your legs tired? You been running through someone’s mind ALL day long.

    Either Confucius was highly overrated, or this is inauthentic Chinese wisdom even by fortune cookie standards.

    Sadly, not one patron at my table had tired legs.

  • Truck nuts

    Truck nuts

    To me, truck nuts always seemed both unnecessarily vulgar and not vulgar enough — it’s a vile gesture to give your vehicle balls, and yet testicles without a penis is clearly an anatomical abnormality.

    So I was delighted to see a local’s take on the “truck nuts” fad that dispenses with the vulgar aspect altogether, replacing it with clever wordplay. Alternately, one could argue that hex nuts are more anatomically correct on a metal vehicle. Either way.

    As my co-worker (who pointed these nuts out to me) said: “Truck nuts; you’re doing it right.”

    (Spotted at 17th and South Van Ness.)

  • Fruit of an ATX tree

    Fruit of an ATX tree

    Oh these heavenly late-summer days, when the ATX tree’s tender blossoms mature into beautiful power fruit. Children climb the branches, looking for the ripest one they can find for their gaming PCs.

    On a lucky day in early September, a lucky child could even find a 750 watt ATX power supply. But alas, many fruits, such as the one pictured above, will not even have SATA power connectors. Such is the way of mother nature.

    (Spotted at Dolores and 15th)