• Lisbon vs. San Francisco

    I spent the last week in a small seaside city that seemed eerily reminiscent of home. Everywhere I looked, there were these little moments of deja vu. Here’s a list of some (surprising) similarities between the two cities, with a few differences thrown in for good measure.

    Similarities

    25 of April Bridge

    Both cities have a red/orange painted suspension bridge.

    Belém Tower

    Near the bridge, there’s a fort with cannons inside in both cities.

    Super Mario

    Restaurants close too early, so you have to go to a bar to hang out late.

    Column of Pedro IV, Rossio Square

    San Francisco is known for its hippie beliefs and open spirit — but we have nothing on Portugal. In the 70’s Portugal had a goddamn hippie revolution that toppled a dictator and instated democracy, and it involved flowers.

    Elevator tram

    Lisbon has steep hills, so they gouge tourists to ride streetcars. Sound familiar?

    A Brasileira

    Both cities have charmingly historic poet cafes that now serve mediocre coffee to tourists.

    View from Elevador de Santa Justa

    An earthquake and fire leveled Lisbon in 1755. San Francisco’s big quake was 151 years later. Pretty much everything you see now in both cities was built post-quake.

    Watch out for thieves!

    Instead of being normal and installing an air conditioner, the folks in Lisbon and San Francisco prefer to pretend that we’re not affected by heat. The only option for cooling down is to visit a chain store or mall that doesn’t adhere to the local HVAC customs.

    Outdoor stairwell in Alfama

    Small alleys throughout the cities contain a treasure trove of various types of street art.

    Pena National Palace in Sintra

    A tasteless, impractical mansion built by a looney heir exist not far outside both cities.

    Differences

    Lisbon cobblestone

    I didn’t see much biking and skateboarding in or around Lisbon, for an obvious reason: cobblestone.

    Festa Avante!

    In spite of what Fox News would have you believe, there are no more communists in San Francisco than you’d find in any other American college town. In Lisbon they’re also a fringe element, but have a visible presence.

    Ginjinha

    San Francisco’s local drink of choice is intended to put hair on your chest. Lisbon’s favorite shot of liquor, ginjinha, features a sweet syrupy flavor — and follows with a fierce headache.

    Lisbon Metro

    While cars drive on the right side in both cities, the Metro and commuter trains in Lisbon drive on the left. This really messed with my head, particularly after a few shots of ginjinha.

    Bull fight

    I haven’t seen any bulls getting tackled head-on in San Francisco.

    Castle of the Moors in Sintra

    Portugal’s long, fascinating history is still visible, particularly in the form of castles. In fact, it’s the most castley place I’ve ever been.

  • Are American alcohol prices a ripoff?

    Wine at Spanish supermarket
    Amstel at Spanish supermarket

    Ever feel like you’re overpaying for alcoholic beverages? If you’re in the US of A, you are probably right; our society seems to treat alcohol as a luxury rather than a commodity, and it’s priced accordingly.

    I took the above two photos in Spain. If you factor in the exchange rate the bottle of wine comes out to about $2.25 and the six pack of Amstel is about $2.85. These prices seem low but neither of these were on sale or special deals; these are everyday prices in Spain.

    Granted, you can pay more for imported alcohol (i.e. from outside the EU) or for fancier wine, but even the top shelf wines top out at about $30. The prices here are simply a fraction of what us Americans are used to paying. I’ve found this phenomenon to be true throughout western Europe.

    This all makes me wonder: are we getting ripped off? Sure, you can attribute some of this to the import tax — but that can’t be the entire story since domestic alcohol isn’t much cheaper. American has a sad history of puritanical anti-fun policies, a particularly embarrassing heritage when our supposed “freedom” and “abundance” aren’t reflected in the prices we pay.

    It makes me wonder: are we simply getting ripped off? Why is the rest of the world paying a fraction of what we pay for alcohol when we purportedly value capitalism and freedom? Who’s pocketing the difference, and how are they getting away with it?

  • Green Day sells out

    Green Day banana chips

    Remember when Green Day’s pop-friendly rock took over the airwaves in the mid 90’s? Well, times have changed. Billie, Mike, and Tre must have fallen on bad luck, as they’re now licensing their band’s name out for banana chips.

    If you want to be an American Idiot and try these yourself, they’re sold at Walgreens.

  • Curry Village takes over Cafe Petra space

    Curry Village 2

    The long-shuttered Cafe Petra finally has some action, with a new sign promising a second outpost of the Inner Sunset’s popular Curry Village Indian buffet.

    It remains to be seen if this particularly quiet stretch of Guerrero can support a restaurant, or how this tiny storefront can house a full buffet. With Pakwan, Gajalee, and Alhamra all a stone’s throw away, there’s increasing competition for Indian restaurants in the area — great news for those of us who love Indian food.

  • Terrifying clown recommends spicy Cheetos knockoff

    What the fuck?

    I’ve never been the type to fear clowns. But the clown on this package of knockoff Cheetos at Walgreens makes me want to grab a flashlight and hide under the covers.

    I imagine if this clown were a real person, his day to day interactions would be something like this:

    “Psst, hey kid,” the clown muttered in his gravely, tobacco-strained voice. “You want some hot Cheetos?”
    “Those aren’t REAL Cheetos!” the kid replied indignantly.
    “What, you’re too good for store brands?”
    “Let me go!”
    “How about you come outside with me, I have real Cheetos in the back of my van.”

    Yikes! In spite of the price difference, I think I’ll be sticking with my trusty old pal Chester Cheetah.

  • Pica Pica scientists develop IRL Facebook wall

    Facebook wall IRL

    The hard working scientists at local Pokemon-themed Venezuelan eatery Pica Pica have developed an IRL Facebook wall that somehow transcends the physical/cyber barrier with a painted board and a mineral-based writing utensil.

    Although the Facebook wall does not appear to be refreshing from Facebook, I assume this is just a minor hiccup in the code. You know how the Facebook Graph API can be (and if you don’t, consider yourself lucky.)

  • Grill no longer thrilling

    Nizario's Pizza

    The former Thrill of the Grill on Valencia has closed up shop, and is now a Nizario’s Pizza, part of a small local chain apparently owned by someone named Nizar.

    While I was never a huge fan of Thrill of the Grill, and their “whenever we feel like it” operating hours couldn’t have been good for business, it was admittedly a perfect spot for those times when you were too drunk to wait in line at Arinell.

    The good news is that all three of Nizario’s SF locations claim to stay open until 2am and (according to their Yelp reviews) all sell pizza by the slice. Those are two things we could use more of in this city!

  • Trolled by Safeway

    Trolled by Safeway?

    New signs at the Church and Market location of Safeway urge customers to “Help us keep the streets of San Jose clean.”

    Since it’s hard to believe their employees wouldn’t know what city they work in, this can’t be a mistake; Safeway is trolling us on purpose. And what better way to troll San Franciscans than to confuse our wonderful city with that overstuffed suburb in the South Bay?

    Good work, Safeway — successful troll is successful.

  • Ninja Turtle battles gentrification

    Anti-gentrificaiton TMNT

    This new mini-piece on Clarion Alley shows Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles complaining about gentrification to a man with a rather unusual tongue condition.

    Gentrification, according to this mural, is embodied by ice cream, condos, and “another boutique.” Who knew that food, shelter, and retail were to blame? Apparently can battle gentrification by starving ourselves and sleeping on the street — it’s that simple!

    Of course, Raphael has more reason to complain than the rest of us; the city has been busily ripping out his home (i.e. the sewers) and replacing them with newer sewers, which one assumes are not protected by rent control.

  • Stuff used to be made in SF

    Door bell

    My apartment building dates back to the early 40’s, and in many ways it’s a throwback to another era. Fuse boxes, steam heating, garbage chutes… it’s all very quaint.

    But sometimes it’s sad to see how things have changed — the doorbell pictured above was actually manufactured right here in SF. Same with the sewer drains in the parking lot. All of these things would be made outside the country today, let alone San Francisco.

    Today, the term “made in San Francisco” typically means “prepared in San Francisco.” There are no real factories here anymore. That bike or messenger bag that says “SF Made” on it might have had some customization work done on it here, but it certainly wasn’t manufactured within city limits.