Located in an old courthouse building in Downtown Las Vegas, The Mob Museum tells the story of the mafia in America. It’s a story that most Americans are at least somewhat familiar with, but how often do you learn about it in a museum setting rather than from a secondhand story in a movie?
After a recommendation from a tour guide and the convenience that it’s located directly across the street from my hotel I figured… why not check it out? And I’m glad I did.
The exhibit begins on the third floor and works its way down. After a brief introduction as to what made certain young immigrants turn to crime in the first place, they cut right to the chase: the rise of the temperance movement and the massive black market created by the prohibition.
Once alcohol became legal again, the crime families and the dirty cops and other officials who accepted bribes didn’t all disappear overnight. So the mafia branched out, using their connections on all sorts of other criminal enterprises.
One of those as it turns out was back home in San Francisco, where a now defunct mob family started — what else — Fisherman’s Wharf. Somehow that’s both a little surprising and at the same time, it explains a lot.
One of the big new crime schemes was of course gambling. There’s a reason The Mob Museum is located in an old courthouse in Las Vegas, and a video presentation on the second floor followed by a gallery on the history of the mob in Las Vegas explain that connection in more detail that I could possibly fit into this post.
The exhibits on the first floor go into the eventual fall of the mafia in America with new laws and new policing methods that made it simpler to prosecute career criminals on charges other than tax evasion. Of course it’s not all sunshine and rainbows these days if you look outside of this country, and there’s a section about large gangs in other countries responsible for everything from animal poaching to human trafficking.
The final room ends on a much lighter note with depictions of the mafia in popular media and even features props and pages of scripts from everything from The Godfather to Breaking Bad to The Sopranos.
Now I shouldn’t need to say this but this is a museum with mature themes like death and features graphic images and disturbing stories. They’re not trying to sugarcoat anything that happened, but at the same time it’s not a bunch of shock images either. Given the museum setting I think they struck the right balance in that respect.
My recommendation: If you’re interested in the history of the mafia it’s worth checking out. I recommend the off-hours “happy hour” ticket as it’s a significant discount. Skip the audio tour as the museum already has plenty of interactive and video exhibits anyway and the audio portion is largely redundant.
I’m spending this week in Las Vegas — I’ll get to exactly why I chose to visit Las Vegas later on, but this is my first trip of any kind in over two years. (Yes, I know there’s still a pandemic going on but I’m vaccinated and Las Vegas has a perfectly reasonable mask requirement that I’m happy to follow.)
The last time I was in Vegas I got to see The Blue Man Group, which was a bucket list show for me. This time I wanted to cross another show off the bucket list: Penn & Teller.
I probably don’t need to introduce Penn & Teller as they’re arguably the most famous comedy magic duo of our time. Penn Jillette is the tall loud guy who’s the carnival barker of the two, and Raymond Teller is the smaller guy who does like 90% of the actual magic tricks. The pair have performed together since the mid 1970’s and there’s a good chance you’ve seen them on TV, either on a talk show or on their long running Fool Us show.
Oh and if you’ve somehow never seen their spin on the old cups and balls trick, go watch it now!
Though Penn & Teller have mixed up their Vegas act over the years, they had the entire pandemic to come up with new material, which Penn claims is a huge relief because they were out of tricks to perform on Fool Us.
While everyone found their way to their seats in the Rio’s theater, the show’s pianist was joined by Penn on an upright bass. They went through some classic jazz tunes before Penn had to leave and prepare for the opening act.
And that was the first joke: the opening act involved Penn playing the same upright bass as the pianist played on a different piano, while Teller struggled to play a prop saxophone that seemingly only existed to “charm” a piece of tissue paper as it floated around the stage, fell on the floor, came back up, and even landed on Teller’s head after he fashioned it into a hat.
That’s just a small taste of what the new version of their show had to offer. There was only one trick in the entire set that I’ve seen them do before (a double misdirection involving a gorilla costume) though a more hardcore Penn & Teller fan than I might have seen versions of some other tricks before.
There was a trick that involved “gambling” with the entire audience participating where somehow I was one of the last five or so people standing until the final round. When Penn pointed out the prize was going to be extremely cumbersome to take home I honestly felt a sense of relief at not being the winner.
For those who remember seeing Penn & Teller decades ago I should point out that their act isn’t as physically demanding as it once was. This can’t be a big surprise considering their ages, particularly Teller who had his 70th birthday a couple years ago.
My recommendation: If you like Penn & Teller’s style of comedy magic this is a solid ~90 minute live show with plenty of new tricks. I had a great time, but if I had one gripe it’s that advance tickets are sold through Ticketmaster and as such come with Ticketmaster’s exorbitant fees.
Recently I went to see teamLab: Continuity, the new special exhibit at the Asian Art Museum.
The basics
Haven’t been to the Asian Art Museum before? It’s a museum across from City Hall filled with ancient art and artifacts from Eastern religions. Also some stuff from the Middle East, which is only “Asian” if we largely ignore religion.
The collection isn’t the biggest but tickets are relatively cheap and you can easily spend an hour or so there if you do the audio tours — which are free if you download the app and bring your own headphones.
So what’s up with this special exhibit at the Asian Art Museum? Why is this here? The studio behind this exhibit, teamLab, is based in Tokyo. So in the most basic sense of the word it is “Asian art.” But it’s Asian Art in the contemporary sense, which isn’t the same definition as the rest of the museum. It’s an awkward fit but this is typical of special exhibits in smaller museums.
The exhibit
Let’s get into what Continuity actually is. At this point you’ve almost certainly watched the above video but let me put it into words.
Continuity is a series of rooms with a series of bright and pulsating organic computer generated scenery projected all over the walls and floor. A continuous soundtrack accompanies the visuals. Once in a while the scenes respond to visitors touching the wall.
The overall effect of the moving images and the high-end projection system creates an impression somewhere between dizzying and hypnotic. At times it was difficult to judge spatial distance. To some extent other people help because the size of other people is easy to intuit, but the fact that everyone is covered in projection effects can at times effectively camouflage them.
Allegedly there’s an element of scents involved but I don’t know, maybe it’s the mask requirement but I didn’t notice this at all.
The most intense room in the exhibit — and the one I spent the most time in — is located in the back. This room is by far the most dizzying with effects spinning all around you, especially when you first walk in. No worries though, there’s a staff member at the entrance who acts as a spotter for those having trouble.
After sitting down on the carpet for a while and laying against a slanted wall, I not only gained my bearings but realized I enjoyed feeling wrapped in this light show and the score that went along with it. As I started tuning in more to the music than the visuals the experience went from overwhelming to calming in the span of a few minutes.
That’s the key duality to Continuity: a funny line between relaxing and unnerving. The artists behind this exhibit describe the visual effects as “Ultrasubjective Space,” an intentional blending of two dimensional and three dimensional planes. I think they’ve largely succeeded; at times the illusion is enough to make you feel like you’re in an otherworldly place despite the largely typical interior structure.
The only thing that worried me about this exhibit was a couple of children running around. While I think some of this falls on the parents there are also measures the museum could take like more active security or family hours. I’m definitely not saying kids should be banned, I probably would have loved it as a kid. But I also don’t want to accidentally trip (or trip over) anyone.
So… what is it?
Personally I think Continuity is primarily a light and sound show. I’ve never seen anything quite like it; teamLab has similar types of installations at other museums but I haven’t been to any of them.
One word I see getting tossed around to describe Continuity and similar exhibits is “immersive.” I don’t think that applies here for one simple reason: there’s no story. Nothing to really hook you in and make you want to uncover more.
While I don’t mean to gatekeep what the word immersive means when it comes to art, I think it’s important for terminology to have consistent meanings. Imagine a tour guide at a museum pointing at a Van Gogh and claiming it’s a classic example of Cubism. If that misuse of terms doesn’t make you frustrated, it should.
I also don’t want to use any terms that might back memories of planetarium laser shows with hippie music synced to boring visuals. For those too young to remember those, let me tell you a secret: you didn’t miss anything.
teamLab themselves describe their works as “digital art,” which is both technically true and kind of meaningless. But at least it’s good to know that even the creators can’t easily categorize their own works.
Maybe I’m asking the wrong question. I clearly don’t have a concise description, but if I had to come up with one it would be “an in person walkthrough audio/video experience.” Did I mention I don’t work in marketing?
In conclusion
In my opinion teamLab has kicked the… “digital art” (?) genre up a notch here. The original music and wild visuals with interactive elements, the incredible projection system that somehow prevents large shadows, and that room so dizzying they need a spotter to keep it safe are all elements I was on board with.
I know teamLab has many other installations and I’m curious as to how they compare. It’s probably not something I’d go far out of my way to see but I’d definitely check them out if I were in the area.
My recommendation: If you’re in San Francisco and this sounds interesting to you, the adult tickets fluctuate in price but I think are about $20 on average and the special exhibit tickets include general admission to the museum. It’s a totally reasonable price, particularly if you’ve never visited the Asian Art Museum before and need an excuse to go.
The other day I was walking down the 800 block of Valencia Street and something clicked — while on vacation I’d written on this very blog about the Time Travel Mart in Los Angeles and the Secret Agent Supply Co. in Chicago, but I’d never written anything about this nonprofit group’s original location: 826 Valencia here in San Francisco.
The quick version of the story behind why there’s a store for pirates at 826 Valencia Street is this: author Dave Eggers opened a youth writing workshop in the space, but to comply with zoning regulations they were required to have a retail storefront. So a very small part of the footprint of the building is dedicated to a whimsical gift shop.
While all of 826’s other writing workshops follow this same model, they all have different themes for the storefronts. But I think it’s safe to say the original has the most work put into the theme.
The Pirate Supply store sells everything a pirate could need: wooden legs, eye patches, even treasure! And something called “Unicorn Horn Polish.” Of course you’ll also find books, this is a writing workshop after all.
There’s no sales pressure whatsoever and I doubt they make many sales. But then again they’re very open about the fact that this store is a front for something else.
The store’s theme doesn’t end with the merchandise. One example is a wall with cabinets and drawers you can open up. Many of them have cryptic labels like “repairs” on them, and inside you’ll find it’s items to repair clothing like buttons and buckles.
Unfortunately some of the drawers are stuck. Pirates have better things to do than repairing furniture.
Various information is framed on the walls, including the above and one labeled “USES FOR LARD (partial list).” My only question here is what kind of pirate has access to a printing press?
The dry sense of humor on display both here and in some of the mini-books sold in the store should seem familiar to readers of McSweeney’s, which is edited by Eggers.
In one corner of the store there’s a periscope, which is strange because I don’t recall going below deck…
The Pirate Supply Store at 826 Valencia is only open on weekends. If you’re interested in visiting, here are some questions I’ll leave you with:
What do you see when you look into that periscope?
There’s a place in the store where you can dig for treasure. What can you find?
Next to the cash register there’s a curtain with some theater seats behind it. What’s playing on the screen?
If you do visit the Pirate Supply Store I’d also recommend checking out their next door neighbor, upscale curiosity shop Paxton Gate for all your crystal, succulent, and taxidermy needs.
Once again it’s movie time! Similar to my last movie review roundup I watched all of these movies from home, although now that most of us are vaccinated a few theaters have reopened. Personally I can’t see myself going back to theaters until things are fully back to normal — no temperature screenings, masks that stop you from eating popcorn, etc. That’s my big hope for the movie review roundup next time: actually seeing movies in theaters again.
Or maybe that’s just a pipe dream. Either way without further ado, here are the movies I watched in the first half of this year.
Synchronic
Steve and Dennis, a pair of paramedics in New Orleans, come across some victims with unusual injuries. The injuries turn out to be related to Synchronic, a new recreational designer drug. At first this might sound an awful lot like the 2011 film Limitless but the similarities end there.
See, the hallucinogenic effects of Synchronic are not hallucinogenic at all — the effects are the result of unpredictable time travel. When Dennis’ daughter disappears after using the drug Steve takes it upon himself to administer the drug on himself in order to rescue her.
Sometimes this movie is listed as a sci-fi horror, yet it’s more of a sci-fi drama. After the mysterious opening sequence it’s not scary or suspenseful enough to be a horror movie at all.
The main problem with this movie is it takes the concept and explores it in an interesting way, but then takes it way too seriously for how ridiculous and illogical it is in the first place. The tone is very uneven — personally I think it would have worked better as a comedy as some of the film’s strongest beats are firmly in the comedy realm.
Best moment: Steve systematically exploring and documenting how Synchronic works.
Rating: 5/10
Willy’s Wonderland
After experiencing car trouble a mysterious mute unnamed tough guy (Nicholas Cage) accepts a job for one night as the janitor at Willy’s Wonderland — a dilapidated Chuck E. Cheese knockoff — in exchange for car repairs.
The small town where Willy’s is located has a surprising number of missing persons cases, all of whom had accepted a similar offer in the past.
Where did they go? Well obviously the animatronics at Willy’s come to life at night and murder people. A band of young townsfolk arrive to burn the place down and warn the new janitor, only to find he’s completely unphased by the situation.
Armed with nothing more than cleaning supplies and a steady diet of caffeinated sodas, Cage’s janitor takes on the deadly animatronics one by one, tearing them apart before wrapping their remains in garbage bags as though they are nothing more than the trash he was hired to remove. Unfortunately most of the locals aren’t so fearless.
Played more for laughs than scares, Willy’s Wonderland is like if you took a supernatural slasher movie and then tossed in an action hero with predictable yet satisfying results. It’s simple, dark, and funny in all the right ways. While it’s far from perfect I wish more ridiculous films like this existed.
Some people have pointed out the similarities between this movie and the Five Nights at Freddy’s video game series. While there’s certainly a resemblance, I think this isn’t entirely fair for two reasons. First the idea of animatronics coming to life is only a slight twist on the age old nightmare about statues coming to life. Second, the overall stories are otherwise dissimilar.
My main caveat with this film is the sloppy fight scene editing. I realize this was shot on a low budget with a tight schedule, but these scenes are so integral to the story that it would have benefited from having a fight scene coordinator to give these scenes a coherent flow. That said the puppeteering work does capture the threatening nature of the animatronic creatures.
Best moment: When the first animatronic draws blood and Cage’s expression slowly turns to an evil grin before he goes absolutely apeshit.
Rating: 7/10
Bad Trip
Chris (Eric Andre) gets into an embarrassing situation with a vacuum cleaner at a car wash right as he spots his high school crush, Maria, for the first time in years. Meanwhile his best friend Bud is working at a computer repair store when Bud’s sister Trina pulls up in a bright pink car and robs the store.
This sets a few events into motion: After getting fired from the car wash Chris gets a new job at a smoothie shop and runs into his crush again, who tells him she has an art gallery in New York City. Trina is sent to jail, while Chris and Bud decide to “borrow” her pink car to take a road trip from Florida to NYC in an attempt to track down Chris’ crush again. Unfortunately for the two of them, Trina breaks out of jail, steals a police car, and chases after them to retrieve her beloved pink car.
To be clear the story is really nothing more than a loose framework on which to hang a bunch of hidden camera pranks. Like most comedy films the story both supports the jokes and occasionally feels like padding for time. However some of the funniest and most extreme moments aren’t in the trailer which is very unusual for a comedy.
Many reviewers compared this to the Borat movies but I think that largely misses the point — the majority of the people being pranked in the Borat movies are completely aware they’re on camera, whereas here they are only made aware they’re being filmed after the fact. This is made clear in scenes played over the credits with the people being pranked laughing with the actors and crew as the hidden cameras are pointed out to them.
The more obvious comparison is to the film’s star Eric Andre’s The Eric Andre Show which features hidden camera pranks in every episode. There’s one prank in this movie that’s essentially recycled from The Eric Andre Show but fortunately it’s a good one, and the reaction here is more shocking.
As a fan of The Eric Andre Show I think other fans will enjoy it, as will fans of cringey hidden camera pranks in general. Be aware there’s a lot of dick jokes, fake vomit, etc. If you’re on the fence go watch an episode of the show first to get a sense of the type of humor involved since each episode is only 11 minutes long.
I have to point out that Tiffany Haddish who plays Trina here is absolutely perfect for the role. She comes across as both sympathetic and terrorizing, and in one memorable scene repeatedly whips the patrons of a diner into an absolute frenzy.
Best moment: The ending, which I should have seen coming in hindsight.
Rating: 9/10
Come True
“Dreams aren’t what you think” has been a staple premise in scary stories since… well probably as long as humans have been around.
Come True takes this basic concept and tosses in some science fiction in a way that makes you think “Hey, remember Inception? I could be watching that instead.”
The story focuses on a teen runaway named Sarah who joins a sleep study just for a place to sleep. All is not as it seems of course, and this mysterious dream study which turns out to be a slight twist on the “Ever dream this man?” meme.
While Come True does an admirable job of amping up the suspense, it never quite manages to build to anything worthwhile. It’s like a rollercoaster with a really big lift hill but the drops aren’t very sudden and the corkscrew loop is pretty boring.
I’m not going to beat it around the bush: the ending to this movie is both dumb and completely unoriginal. In fact, given the topic of “dreams” I bet you’ve already guessed what it is. Yeah, it’s that bad.
Despite flaws in the story I will say Julia Sarah Stone is great in the lead role. Credit where credit is due.
Best moment: Sarah learning the truth about the sleep study.
Rating: 3/10
Nobody
Hutch (Bob Odenkirk) is presented as your average suburban dad. One night his home is invaded by a pair of robbers. After deciding to let them go — there wasn’t much to take anyway — he feels emasculated. Something in him is re-awakened; specifically his past work as “auditor,” which turns out to be more of an asskicker role than a financial one.
Borrowing his dad’s FBI badge, Hutch tracks down the thieves only to find they’re extremely desperate. He gives up but on his way home a bunch of young Russian punks terrorize a girl on a bus. Hutch resolves the issue by beating all the punks to within inches of their lives.
Naturally, one of the guys he beat up on that bus is related to a scary Russian mobster, leaving Hutch no choice but to single-handedly take down an entire mob.
Much of what makes this film work is the casting choices. Bob Odenkirk is totally believable as a suburban dad, but as a one man killing machine? It’s just so ridiculous that you can’t help but to laugh. Likewise for Hutch’s dad, a scary ex FBI agent with a huge stash of guns played by — who else? — Christopher Lloyd.
This is one of those films where if you watch the trailer, you pretty much know what you’re in for. That isn’t to say there are no twists or anything but if the trailer is appealing you’re going to enjoy the movie.
One thing I personally found amusing is that most of the time when you see characters in a movie using a computer, it’s either product placement, some generic operating system that looks like it could be either Windows or Mac OS, or something completely ridiculous like that 3D file system in Jurassic Park. In this film we see a Russian hacker running Ubuntu Linux with its recognizable custom Gnome 3 shell… something a real hacker might actually use.
Best moment: The spectacular way in which the gangsters’ plan to kidnap Hutch backfires.
Rating: 8/10
Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar
Barb and Star, a pair of eccentric middle aged women who “worked” in a furniture store find themselves laid off and directionless. Ostracized from their group of equally eccentric middle aged friends they decide to take a vacation together to — you guessed it — Vista Del Mar.
Meanwhile, a group of villains are planning on killing the entire population of Vista Del Mar using deadly mosquitos. In an “Austin Powers” like move both Star and lead villain Sharon are played by the movie’s co-creator Kristen Wiig. Sharon’s murderous intentions stem from being embarrassed as a child at Vista Del Mar’s annual seafood festival.
Barb and Star wind up unintentionally taking drugs and dancing with one of the evil henchmen, Edgar, accidentally disrupting the plan.
The movie never quite finds its sweet spot, wavering between a journey of self discovery in the Barb and Star subplot and the ridiculous scene chewing in the villain’s subplot. It doesn’t help that Barb and Star come across as mildly annoying and half fleshed out characters.
While the overall premise is funny, what this movie lacks is connective tissue between comedic beats up until the last quarter of the movie. By that point I can’t help but to feel the average viewer may have sighed and thrown in the towel.
This is a difficult movie to rate. As a comedy it’s occasionally dull until the end when it all comes together. The problem is there’s a runtime of 107 minute but maybe 80 minutes of it feel necessary.
Best moment: The reveal that both Barb and Star are each running away with Edgar separately.
Rating: 6/10
Boss Level
Roy, a former soldier turned alcoholic is stuck in a Groundhog’s Day style time loop where he’s the only one who recalls the previous events. But unlike Groundhog’s Day this isn’t merely about trying to improve his life, it’s about maintaining it: the same killers come after him every day and he has to learn how to fight them all off, dying day after day just to get one step further.
Oh and to make things worse he has no idea who’s after him or why. To the audience it’s all clearly connected to a military project run by an evil contractor (Mel Gibson, surrounded by a cloud of cigar smoke) and his unwitting scientist, Roy’s ex-wife (Naomi Watts.)
Without saying too much throughout the violent action/sci-fi/comedy there’s a recurring video game motif (hence the name of the movie) that only sort of makes sense toward the end without ever coming completely full circle.
While it’s by no means a great film, there’s enough campy, quirky humor with some genuinely great quips where I could see it become one of those B-movies which eventually lands as a sleeper hit. This assumes the right audience finds it though, and to be honest I have no idea what the “right” audience would be for this film.
Again I don’t like to include spoilers in these reviews but the ending is deeply lacking and unsatisfying. Supposedly they filmed more than one ending, so it’s totally possible this gets re-released as a better film in the future.
Best moment: When Roy finally realizes killing all the bad guys isn’t nearly enough.
Normally I only review new movies in these blog entries, but here I’m reviewing a new cut of an old movie — a movie that’s pretty much universally hated — the 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie.
There’s a lot of backstory as to why the film was such a disaster, but the short version is that co-creators Morton and Jankel had a vision for the movie that significantly clashed with what Hollywood Pictures (aka Disney) had in mind. Specifically, Morton and Jankel were the creators of Max Headroom and wanted to create something with a similar gritty steampunk vibe. The studio on the other hand wanted a family friendly film. The result? A movie with a wildly inconsistent tone and a story that’s borderline incomprehensible.
This new cut is the work of artist Garrett Gilchrist who took an early workprint of the film on VHS, restored it, and re-edited the entire movie to include missing scenes and even restored/modified some of the soundtrack. According to Gilchrist there will be a cut that incorporates better quality footage from the Blu Ray release in the future.
The footage that was edited back in is very obvious as it includes timestamps over the footage, as was typical of workprints at that time. This additional footage ranges from short sequences which add a small amount of context to entirely “new” scenes that were edited out of the theatrical cut.
At the end of the day the real question is, does this edit redeem the movie? The short answer is no; the story is a mess, but a much better organized mess. The longer answer is that it’s still an improvement over the original cut and I think for those interested in watching this movie as a historical curiosity this is the best cut to watch of the two available. I also want to point out that like some movies released around the same (Jurassic Park, etc.) the special effects and early computer graphics largely hold up.
So for this edit I’ll give it an A for effort but… there’s only so much even the best editor can do to polish a turd. Still, aside from some missing audio here and there and a brief moment with missing composite effects this is clearly an improvement over the theatrical release — but mostly because it’s not bafflingly incoherent.
Let me repeat that again: this is the first time I’ve watched this movie and actually understood what was happening.
I should note it’s probably not technically legal to watch this movie, but… who cares? There’s absolutely no reason to watch the original, and even this version is still an exercise in self-punishment.
Best moment: The new (to us) Iggy and Spike rap sequence, which finally explains why Koopa turns against them.
Rating: 3/10 (The theatrical cut may not even deserve a 1/10 so this is intended as high praise to the editor.)
Luca
Off the coast of Italy, a pair of small-time fishermen accidentally discover a young “sea monster.” As we soon discover the sea monster’s name is Luca and he lives in an underwater village of his fellow brethren along with some dopey fish. In his society the humans boating around above them are “land monsters” which they’re terrified of. Luca is curious about these land monsters and some of the technology he managed to steal from the fishermen, like a record player (the first indicator of when this story is set.)
After a chance encounter with Alberto, an older boy sea monster, they swim up to the surface together where they do “the change,” transforming into their human counterparts — something Luca was warned never to do by his parents. Yes this is a similar concept as The Little Mermaid but the comparison between the stories pretty much ends there.
The pair slowly learn about human life in Italy circa 1960 through trial and error, making this a fish out of water story in the most literal of ways. I don’t want to spoil the whole story but it involves a somewhat convoluted quest to acquire a Vespa and standing up to a bully.
The animation really nails a realistic looking Italian seaside village and perhaps more impressively the motion of water — something notoriously difficult to animate. Unfortunately this has the unintended consequence of making the human characters look out of place, particularly the ones with more cartoony character designs. Still, that’s a minor quibble as Pixar’s animation has improved in leaps and bounds in recent years and this film is no exception.
At first the idea that Luca and Alberto change back to sea monsters as soon as they get wet is treated like a joke that never quite sticks the landing. However toward the end of the movie it winds up redeeming itself as it becomes integral to the story.
The voice acting is on point in this film especially considering the main roles are all voiced by effectively unknown teenage actors playing against a strong supporting cast that includes Sacha Baron Cohen and stand up comedy legend Jim Gaffigan.
Even by Pixar’s standards this is an amazing film, but it’s even more impressive when you consider the entire team was working from home due to the pandemic.
Best moment: The surprisingly happy ending.
Rating: 10/10
Pig
Rob, (Nicolas Cage) a local celebrity chef turned recluse lives in the woods of Oregon with his pet truffle hunting pig. Rob trades his truffles to a wealthy yuppie named Amir in exchange for ingredients and supplies. When Rob’s pig is kidnapped in a violent attack, Amir takes Rob back to Portland to find his beloved pig. Despite his disheveled and bloody appearance Rob is still recognized by every chef.
Now any time you have a movie featuring Nic Cage you have to ask yourself, is this going to be one of those “Nic Cage movies?” Willy’s Wonderland (see above) is certainly one of them. Or the Wicker Man remake (“NOT THE BEES!”) But then you have movies like Adaptation and Leaving Las Vegas proving Cage is a perfectly serious actor when he’s working with a serious script.
Despite its unusual premise this film fits squarely in the latter category. It boils down to the fact that the mystery of tracking down the pig isn’t really what this movie is about: it’s a portrait of a broken man.
Or should that be broken men? Every single chef Rob meets in the world of fine dining is sketchy, empty inside, or both. While it’s never said outright the theft of the pig merely seems as though it was merely one minor event in some dark underbelly of the restaurant scene. Except of course for Rob — for him it’s personal.
Pretty much everything about this film works. It looks fantastic though some small part of that could be chalked up to the forests of the Pacific Northwest. The pace isn’t leisurely though it takes a leisurely pace at the right moments. And while there aren’t many characters they’re all perfectly cast.
First time film writer/director Michael Sarnoski clearly set himself up to win here and he largely did. What doesn’t quite work is the tendency of the story to bring up more questions than answers: we learn a lot about these characters but the film leans heavily on the actors to sell their inner struggles without offering much insight on their pasts.
Best moment: Rob bringing a grown man to tears (I won’t tell you how or why, just go watch the movie.)
SFGate recently ran an article that compared the small town of Solvang in Santa Barbara County to Disneyland. Although the comparison was seemingly intended to be positive they took a lot of heat for this clearly questionable take.
Go ahead and read the article… and then think about it for a second.
If the criteria for an “adult Disneyland” is food, fake ye olde fashioned looking buildings, a tiki bar, and a couple of windmills then guess what?
You don’t need to leave San Francisco to find this “adult Disneyland.” It’s been right here all along. Who knew?
The best part? I know people love paying outrageous ticket prices to visit Disneyland and the prices in and around San Francisco are just as wild. Yay!
While we may not have Space Mountain, you can get on a cable car and close your eyes. A fireworks show every night? You bet your ass! Here, light this and throw it quick or you might lose a finger.
Though the last animatronic figures probably left town when FAO Schwarz closed their Union Square store, you can find outdoor street performances in the same part of town. Just look for the Michael Jackson impersonator at 4th and Market (gets call from Disney) sorry, I’m being asked by corporate to retract that last part. Apparently there’s some sort of branding issue regarding Captain EO.
But in the “comparing Disneyland to San Francisco” department it turns out I’m kind of late to the party as Mr. Show with Bob (Odenkirk) and David (Cross) did this exact bit… back in 1996.
Oh and by the way, if that Mr. Show sketch seems familiar it might be because I covered it here on this blog a decade ago.
… and history repeats itself. See you here again ten years from now with a new take on this same joke.
As documented on this very blog many businesses in San Francisco were boarded up during the beginning of the pandemic, with many if not most gradually returning. But what’s more surprising are the places that officially went out of business only to reopen — some of which closed long before the pandemic. Here are the restaurants along the Valencia Street corridor that went through this unlikely chain of events.
Pica Pica
The original and last location of the Pica Pica chain known for its Venezuelan food closed its doors for good in August 2020, only to quietly return in March with new investors.
The closure of Pica Pica felt like a blow simply because Venezuelan restaurants are hard to come by in the Bay Area. However it turned out to be a sign of things to come when they reopened their doors.
Of all the restaurants on this small list, this one has to be the most surprising as it was a fairly unassuming restaurant that certainly never made anyone’s top ten lists. Though there is something to be said for reasonably priced wine and carbs.
Pork Store Cafe’s Mediterranean offshoot
Those with longer memories might remember the 2009-era “Morak Lounge,” the hookah bar on 16th Street just off Valencia which was the nighttime moniker of Pork Store Cafe. To sell the vibe customers would enter Pork Store through a Moroccan-themed side entrance, which later became Stanza Coffee.
Despite being an American style diner, Pork Store never completely abandoned Mediterranean cuisine (though they did drop the hookahs.) However as seen in the image at the top of the post, Pork Store’s side hustle as a full on Mediterranean restaurant is back, now under the name “Freekeh.” It remains to be seen if Stanza Coffee fully reopens.
Luna (Park)
The team behind Wayfare Tavern have been quietly working to reboot Luna Park as just “Luna,” and while it’s not open just yet they’ve renovated the interior of the place and put “now hiring” signs in the window.
This effort is seemingly unrelated to several previous efforts to reopen Luna Park, including one from the owner of Mission Beach Cafe which crashed and burned long before Mission Beach itself went under, and by governor Gavin Newsom’s Plumpjack Group. Indeed, the efforts to bring back Luna Park are more storied at this point than the original restaurant. Fingers crossed, this time is the charm.
The cult comedy series On Cinema has had many crowning achievements, but arguably the largest is The Trial of Tim Heidecker. In the trial the host of the series is accused of a felony regarding an unpermitted concert in San Bernardino where 20 people died after using a toxic vape system Heidecker was promoting.
In the trial Heidecker takes a wide defense, not only defending himself pro se against the charges but also bringing in witnesses to testify against his On Cinema guest/co-host Gregg Turkington and attempts to litigate their ongoing disagreements under oath. This goes so far as to bring in writer/director Nicholas Meyer to settle a dispute about which Star Trek movie is the one that takes place in San Francisco.
YouTube’s mysterious algorithm led many outsiders to believe The Trial was a real event, leading to an unlikely if confusing introduction to On Cinema for those who had never even heard of it.
Due to this unlikely combination, many fans have been pushing for a “reaction” video. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a reaction video can be anything from kids trying to use some obsolete technology like a VCR to (in this case) a real life lawyer reacting to a fictional trial.
If you’re completely unfamiliar with the format there are plenty of videos out there of lawyers reacting to Better Call Saul or even the last episode of Seinfeld. Lawyer reaction videos are very much a thing.
While it may be a couple years late, credit where credit is due to YouTube channel AttorneyTom for covering The Trial of Tim Heidecker. Though Tom is unfamiliar with the series he’s easily able to grasp what’s going on and for the most part praises the realism of the trial and explains some of the legal concepts.
Without further ado, here are the reaction videos from AttorneyTom:
When the initial release of Apple Maps was so botched it led to widespread mockery (and a hilarious video from The Onion) Apple opted to play the long game, slowly improving the Maps app with better data and numerous new features.
Today at Apple’s virtual 2021 Worldwide Developer’s Conference (WWDC) they announced among many other things improved public transit directions in Apple Maps. Seems pretty nice, right?
But there was just one tiny problem — one of their example slides shows directions using the J-Church line of Muni Metro and getting off at Embarcadero — a route that has been terminating at Church & Market since August of last year.
There are three possibilities here, and I’m going to enumerate them from least likely to most likely:
This screenshot is a year old or so, and Apple has been working on this feature since then but the UI hasn’t changed much so they went ahead and used it. Apple working on a new feature and not changing the UI for so long doesn’t pass the sniff test for me.
Apple Maps is just so bad that it’s somehow displaying route information that’s wildly out of date. Of course this is possible, and it does happen with even the best mapping apps out there. But I checked just now and when getting transit directions from the Ferry Building to an address on Church Street, sure enough it knew that I’d have to transfer to the J-Church at Church & Market.
This isn’t a screenshot at all: it’s just a mockup. This would also explain why someone would have 5G service (see “screenshot” above) in the Market Street tunnel, something that’s not scheduled to be completed until 2022. In a way this is also the most worrying possibility because if this is just a mockup, what else are they promising us at these events that may never see the light of day? Aside from that AirPower charger, of course. Perhaps Apple should go back to doing live demos in their presentations, even if those sometimes caused Steve Jobs to get pissed off at the audience for ruining them.
“It’s been” a little over a year after the last On Cinema Oscar Special, and many changes have happened. Aside from the pandemic, On Cinema was dropped along with the entire streaming portion of Adult Swim’s lineup. Thankfully this wasn’t the end of On Cinema; fans (self included) chipped in financially for the next season and this Oscar Special. It streamed this year on the new HEI Network behind a paywall. Sort of…
We can’t talk about this year’s Oscar Special without talking about last year’s, as it ended with a carbon monoxide poisoning that killed two people, including the caterer Tom Chaplin. Many blamed this on Gregg Turkington as he left his car running in the studio.
But the big thing is, On Cinema somehow manages to top itself every year. Despite the behind the scenes financial issues somehow this year did not miss a beat.
Even for those of us who’ve been fans for a long time the amazing thing about On Cinema is that the jokes go so deep it’s like peeling back layers of a thick onion, and by the time you understand them you’ll be crying — with laughter. So here we go again.
8. The dueling feeds
After Tim Heidecker announced his 8th Annual On Cinema Oscar Special guests — and the list didn’t include Gregg — we quickly learned that Gregg would be hosting his own 9th Annual “Our Cinema” Oscar Special, effectively one-upping Tim. And the best news? It would be completely free!
Gregg started his feed on YouTube over an hour before Tim’s “official” Oscar Special with a screening of the 1937 public domain film Affairs of Cappy Ricks. Following that, Gregg appeared on a shaky handheld camera phone camera to introduce us to a parking lot that was used in Back to the Future, and wouldn’t you know it — his car, which is now a mobile film archive, is parked there and decorated like the DeLorean from the Back to the Future films. But it gets better! Gregg himself is dressed like Marty McFly from Back to the Future 3.
Now a normal comedy show would back down on this premise of having two separate feeds right when the main one kicked in, but this is On Cinema we’re talking about. Even after Tim eventually backs down and invites Gregg to his Oscar Special, Gregg’s feed continues even to the point where he’s in the bathroom at the studio and driving away at the end.
This second feed adds an element of pure chaos. You never really know which one you should be watching, and at some points both Tim and Gregg are talking at the same time. But for the most part Gregg’s feed is pointed at the ground and you hear him grumbling and making snarky remarks about Tim’s show.
7. The rat test
Unable to let the events of last year’s Oscar Special go to rest, Tim has a miniature version of the set built in a glass case with a live lab rat. He intends to pump car exhaust into the case with the help of his “investigator” LaRoux in order to prove that carbon monoxide is lethal.
Things don’t quite go as planned however when the car exhaust enters the set through a hose and everyone begins coughing, apparently having learned nothing from last year. After his wife Toni protests killing a rat to prove a point, Tim relents and abandons the experiment.
Tim later claims the rat died of unrelated causes, so even if he had gone ahead with the experiment it would have rendered the results entirely inconclusive.
6. Fox News parody
Over the years Tim has taken on the personality of a particular brand of a conservative blowhard, and that’s very much on point here as the entire set for this Oscar Special looks straight out of Fox News.
Tim goes all in on this, kicking things off with a parody of Greg Gutfeld’s late night “comedy” show on Fox News. Despite having the appearance of The Daily Show or Last Week Tonight, all of Tim’s conservative jokes fall flat and show no self awareness whatsoever. (The entire segment can be watched above.)
(On the meta side of things, Gregg used to be a regular on Gutfeld’s previous show Red Eye but in character as Neil Hamburger.)
5. The repulsive catering
This year the show went in a new direction with catering, this time with a sponsorship from the shady supplement company Rio-Jenesis with their RJ’s Shake Station brand.
Tim gets a shake that’s made with an inexplicable combination of vegetables, some kind of potato soup, hard liquor, and a supplement from Rio Jenesis called “VaxxBlock” which is intended to prevent the COVID-19 vaccines from working.
After all, as a Trumpian conservative Tim wants the advantages of the vaccine like being able to travel abroad without the disadvantages such as whatever conspiracy theories are being touted this week.
But most importantly, he wants to get drunk.
4. The singer
Wendy Kerby, a young friend of Toni’s from her church is brought in as the singer for this year’s Oscar Special. She’s also the brother of the guy running the catering stand.
She sings a version of Tim’s song “Empty Bottle,” perhaps the fifth or sixth version we’ve heard so far, over a karaoke version of the song. It quickly becomes clear she doesn’t know all the lyrics though nobody seems to even notice or care.
At the end she’s trotted out again over the disastrous ending — which I’ll get to a moment — to sing a rendition of “Back In the High Life Again” by Steve Winwood. (Or should it be “Back in the HEI Life Again”?)
3. Toni’s cosmetic face masks
Tim’s horrible wife Toni Newman is just as much of a scam artist as her husband, and is now hawking a line of cosmetic face masks. To demonstrate them she applies them to both Tim and his bandmate Manuel, with Tim immediately complaining of a burning sensation and is unable to remove the mask despite pouring ice all over his face.
After a break, Tim’s face has gone from spray-tan orange to bright red, and he’s kicked his wife Toni off the set. Manuel hasn’t suffered, though it’s worth noting that part of Tim’s facial skin was grafted from Manuel’s lower back or “ass” in season 8 after Tim accidentally set himself on fire.
2. Tim’s stepson and potential new child
Matt Newman was introduced at the last Oscar Special as Tim’s stepson from his current wife Toni. Despite an awkward conversation between the two of them it was clear that Matt was into online video games and not much else.
This time Matt was back via an unstable Zoom call and seemed more focused on playing games than interacting with Tim.
Tim drunkenly told Matt — or tried to anyway — that he’ll soon be having a new sibling as he just got Toni pregnant. Toni isn’t particularly appreciative of Tim sharing this news as it wasn’t meant to be public yet. It also doesn’t bode well for the pregnancy as Toni is drinking schnapps throughout the special.
1. Gregg storming off the set and escaping LaRoux
Tim’s ongoing plan to investigate the carbon monoxide poisoning of the last Oscar Special ends with LaRoux blaming everything on Gregg. This causes Gregg to storm off the set and lock himself in his car/mobile film archive.
When Gregg attempts to leave he’s intercepted by LaRoux who tries to block him. It’s implied (though not shown) that Gregg ran over LaRoux with his car while escaping. None of this is shown in either feed, though we soon see Gregg driving away on his feed and Wendy singing “Back in the HEI Life Again” on Tim’s feed.
Over the credits, Tim claims that LaRoux was injured but will be okay, implying that yet another Oscar Special has resulted in needless injuries. Plus a dead rat.
Honorable mentions
Tim unveils a new song for his wife, “Your Love Gets Me HEI,” which is just as cringe-inducing as the title would suggest.
Mark is back… sort of. A fan’s home footage of Mark included Mark saying he didn’t want to be involved with the “VFW”, which may have been a confused reference to Gregg’s VFA or perhaps something else? It raised more questions than answers, but the point is that Mark is still alive after all.
Al Pacino’s birthday! This didn’t go anywhere despite several segments including Manuel and Axiom impersonating Pacino. Gregg verbally shat all over Pacino for declining to participate in several of his favorite film franchises.
The Minions! Ever since Tim announced the HEI Network, he’s complained off and on about Minions — the characters from the Despicable Me franchise — appearing on his website allegedly due to hackers. During this Oscar Special a Minion stuffed animal appeared in various shots, sometimes noted by Tim but often not.
Josh Trank, who directed the Fantastic Four movie (which Tim had a small part in) called in via Zoom. Gregg used this segment to reignite a debate about whether or not Tim paid a fee to appear in this movie, though it was ultimately unresolved as Trank’s Zoom connection was unstable.
Despite Tim’s ongoing social media claim that Axiom is his new “Mister Movies” it was clear Axiom hadn’t seen any of the movies nominated for this year’s Oscars. The usually spineless Joe Estevez convinced Tim to bring Gregg back to the show to provide movie expertise. And wouldn’t you know it, underneath his Back to the Future 3 costume Gregg was wearing a yellow t-shirt with a custom screen print that says “The REAL Mister Movies.”
