It used to be that buying a FastPass was a simple affair. There was only one type of adult pass available, and many places to buy one.

But Muni screwed that all up.

Let’s look at how my FastPass purchasing experiences have changed over the years.

Here’s how I bought a Muni pass while I was at SF State:

1. Check sign at info desk to see if passes were in
2. Withdraw cash from ATM
3. Use cash to pay $45 to info desk
4. Receive pass

Fast forward a few years to when I got my current job in SOMA. Up until a few months ago, the process for buying a pass was very similar:

1. Receive Commuter Check from work
2. Hand Commuter Check to cashier at Montgomery St. station Muni booth
3. Receive pass

But no, it couldn’t be that simple! First, the ticket booth at Montgomery St. was closed permanently. This place was always a mob around the first of the month, but I could usually time it right so I didn’t have to wait much.

Second, I no longer get Commuter Checks for some reason. Instead I have a commuter debit card thing that they don’t take at Powell St, and most/all stores, meaning I have to buy my tickets at Embarcadero Station.

Here’s my new routine for 2010:

1. Head all the way to Embarcadero Station
2. Walk to Muni ticket booth
3. Stand in line for 10+ minutes
4. At front of line, am told the “A” passes are now sold out, come back tomorrow
5. Wait one day, repeat

Eventually I do get my pass, but it’s always a crapshoot. For some reason this ticket booth isn’t open late enough most of the time; I was once told they close at 6:45 PM. And they seem to close even if there’s still people in line.

And yes, I could probably use TrannyLink or NailClipper or whatever the hell it’s called this month. But you actually have to buy the card (WTF?!) unless you manage to score one at the coveted “free” days that are heavily advertised, yet the people never show up to distribute the cards. (Yes, I’ve tried.)

Anyway, Muni you guys need to get your heads out of your asses. I’m trying to PAY YOU. Don’t you want my money?