Why does “Oracle Open World” result in “Oracle closed street”? Even the electric buses can’t get through.
-
On Dane Cook’s “comedy” career
The funny thing about Dane Cook is that he’s not funny. This would be unremarkable were it not for his comedy albums, films, and TV specials.
How can a comedian who isn’t funny be so popular?
This was bothering me a while ago, but I’ve finally realized that every Cook fan I’d ever met was a frat guy. I think that explains it.
Here’s my screenplay of how Cook became famous. Imagine this happening in every dorm across the country.
INT. ROWDY FRAT HOUSE - NIGHT A party is taking place. FRAT GUY is looking for action and SORORITY GIRL is bored and watching TV. Dane Cook is on. SORORITY GIRL is staring at the screen. FRAT GUY approaches SORORITY GIRL. FRAT GUY Hey, what's up? SORORITY GIRL (drinking) Watching Dane Cook. He's funny! FRAT GUY (oblivious) Oh, yeah... um. Dane Cook! He's great. Like that one thing he does, um... SORORITY GIRL Could you hand me that beer? FRAT GUY (Hands her a beer and sits next to her) Sure, here. She chugs the beer quickly. SORORITY GIRL Ahh. Oh man. Oh. Hey.... you're so hot, I wanna **** *** **** *** ***! Sorority Girl smiles drunkenly and goes down out of the frame. Frat Guy stretches and smiles in contentment. INT. RECORD STORE - DAY In the comedy isle, FRAT GUY picks up every Dane Cook CD they have and puts it into his basket. EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - DAY Outside a building, FRAT GUY is standing around waiting. SORORITY GIRL exits the door and he meets up with her. FRAT GUY Hey, what's up? SORORITY GIRL (startled) Oh... uh. Hi. Not much. FRAT GUY Hey, remember how you said you like Dane Cook? Well I was just listening to his CDs and... SORORITY GIRL (confused) Dane who? What are you talking about? FRAT GUY I um... so you wanna... SORORITY GIRL (annoyed) Uh, I gotta go.
Makes sense? I hope so, because if that doesn’t explain Dane Cook, then I don’t know what does.
-
Ozone Thai on 2nd Street?
I was walking in South Beach today when I noticed this sign posted in the ol’ Jack Falstaff space:
You might recall Jack Falstaff was one of Gavin “Hair” Newsom’s failed enterprises. Now it’s transitioning to be a Thai restaurant, seemingly a new location for Ozone Thai.
-
Photos of Folsom Street Fair 2009
Say what you will about Folsom Street Fair, it’s a great opportunity to take photos of weirdos and naked people. Of course, the old rule about public nudity always holds true: exhibitionists are never the people you WANT to see naked.
Anyhow, on with the photos!
House party
WHORE shirt
Viking girls
Now, Cardinal… the rack!
Here’s the rack in use for a flogging.
Ice penis
Kink.com
Who wants to buy a paddle?
Gold’s Gym dance area
This would make a great Craigslist personal, I bet.
For the ladies.
Security…?
Silicone breasts… and a silicone woman to go with them.
Several silicone women.
-
No Levitating
No levitating, Mon-Sat 6AM – 11PM.
Spotted outside Roxie Cinema.
Also noted on 16th and Valencia newspaper kiosk (aka Hip Hop Shoe Repair.)
-
Newspaper industry: Part 2
In a previous post, I had some very negative remarks about the news media. In this rant, I went over some serious problems in today’s news reporting that I don’t feel are being addressed.
Despite some semi-constructive criticism at the end, I think it comes off as both weak and harsh at the same time. The tone is a lot meaner than it should have been, and yet in many ways my complaints don’t go far enough.
Fortunately, via BoingBoing I was alerted to a similar posting by Dan Gillmore which says a lot of what I tried to say, only better. Read his post here.
(No really. Go read it. Come back when you’re done!)
The key message of Gillmore’s post is that the news media has an important role in its community and a responsibility to maintain reporting quality standards. Some of his points are more important than others. I would argue that the online-only components (4 and 8 ) are actually the least critical; assuming the remaining suggetsions are actually put into play, links and online services are merely nice to have. Whereas interpretations instead of copying quotes, aiding the community as a top priority, etc. are absolutely mandatory.
There is a simple conclusion to all of this: as a news organization, the responsibility to report the whole truth and nothing but the truth is key. Telling us what someone said is good, but without fact checking, it’s irrelevant. Our leaders bend the truth all the time, and if our news organizations don’t show us where reality ends and the distortion begins, then who will show us?
For now, it seems, nobody will. What a shame.
-
C/C++ with Eclipse Galileo on Mac OS 10.6
Getting Eclipse to compile your C/C++ applications on Linux has always been a breeze. On Windows, it’s always been hell. And on Mac, it’s somewhere in between.
Here’s what you need to get started:
Your Mac OS install DVD has a few optional components that aren’t part of the standard installation. One of these is XCode, which is Apple’s wonky IDE. It comes with the GNU toolchain, which is exactly what you’ll need. If you’ve installed the right thing, you should be able to open a new terminal window (note: a NEW terminal window) and run “gcc”. If it’s installed, it will return with something like “gcc: no input files.” Which is true — you didn’t give it any input files.
Now onto the next problem. Eclipse’s C/C++ Development Tools (CDT) plugin doesn’t work with 64-bit binaries without some significant tweaks because it won’t recognize the binary as a valid application. And on Snow Leopard, GCC compiles 64-bit by default. Damn!
There’s two workarounds for this, use whichever one suits you best (but not both!):
- Switch back to 32 bit binaries. In each project, right click and select Properties, and open the C/C++ Build section, and click settings. Under MacOS X C++ Linker, click Miscellaneious. There’s three text fields; in the one that just says Linker flags, add “-arch i386” (without the quotes). Then go to the GCC C++ Compiler section, hit Miscellaneous, and add the same text to the Other flags box. Now you just need to do a clean build, and you should be good to go.
- Don’t use the Run dialog. You can use the Run External command to run the 64-bit executable. This can be somewhat annoying if you have several build options, or you like changing the name of your project. But it works.
Remember, you only need to make ONE of the above changes. Don’t make both!
Hopefully this helped someone out there. And even more hopefully, this will be fixed in the next verison of Eclipse.
Update: forgot the “i” in “i386” and added emphasis about only making one of the two changes.
-
Anger 2009
Everywhere you look recently, people seem more angry than usual. It’s not that we’re angry about something new — we’re all just letting the little things get blown out of proportion. We’re placing our anger where it doesn’t seem to fit.
We see it every day. On the road and on the street, people are getting into verbal confrontations over small mistakes. On the news, we see citizens yelling misguided and untrue talking points at their government representatives. The spitfire threads on the internet seems to be outpacing everything else (even porn) for the first time.
What is all this? Why is this happening?
My first hypothesis was that the echo chambers are getting louder. The obvious example is cable news networks, which sink to lower lows with every passing day. People watch these “news” networks to have their own opinions validated. It’s like fans of WWE wrestling yelling at one another to suppor their favorite wrestler. The key difference being that WWE matches are fake and don’t really matter, whereas decisions made by governments can have far-reaching implications on our dalies lives. But in both examples, people get mad when their “side” isn’t victorious.
Another example of the “echo chamber effect” is online. Again, we have political shouting games, with DailyKos, Drudge Report, etc. taking the little things out of proportion. But we also see this anger effect on personal blogs, celebrity gossip sites, and bastillions of stupidity like Encylopedia Dramatica or 4chan. It’s no different than the echo chambers on TV.
But the echo chamber effect hypothesis leaves a lot unexplained. These echo chambers have existed for a decade or more. Why are things getting so out of hand only now?
This line of thought lead to an interesting conversation the other day with an acquaintance of mine recently. I think we came up with a better answer:
Let’s assume I’m correct about the premise that people are more angry recently; this is difficult to prove (I’m not a psychologist or a statistician) but the observation seems correct. If that’s true, then what else could be causing the anger problem?
Answer: the recession.
And if you think about it, this makes a lot of sense. Even if your job or school is doing fine, you know someone who has been affected. Probably more than one person. Things we took for granted are going away, like workplace benefits, low taxes, cheap public transportation, etc. Here in California, state parks are being shut down, college is becoming more expensive, and even the poison control hotline is in jeopardy.
A recession is something outside of our control, we can’t do anything about it. Most of us don’t even understand the cause. But we all feel the same helplessness.
Q: What do we do when we’re helpless?
A: We get angry.In short: it’s the economy, stupid. We’re mad for a reason, and that reason is that our safeguards have failed us. Our government failed us. We all should have seen this coming and we all should have saved more, worked harder, and fought it off.
But getting angry at each other doesn’t help. Anger makes everyone’s life unpleasant.
I have a temporary solution — humor is the best medicine. To cure all this negativity, I propose laughing at our own perils and not taking ourselves too seriously. The recession is a tragedy; permanent or temporary, us humans have been laughing off our own personal tragedies for centuries.
Let’s take it gently, and remember that no matter how mad we are at the moment, we’re all humans in the end. You… me… everyone. We can never forget that.
-
How to survive a nuclear blast
In the mid-20th century, Americans were concerned with surviving a new threat: nuclear weapons. Unlike previous types of bombs, nukes could wipe out entire cities in a single blast, burn the surrounding area, and give survivors cancer and other serious health problems.
Thankfully, American scientists invented two foolproof methods of surviving a nuclear blast: hiding under your desk, and keeping your house clean.
That’s right — you can prevent certain death with a desk and a broom! And if you survive, you can just buy a toupee to hide your bald spot. Here, I’ve collected three 1950’s nuclear blast safety videos narrated by 1950’s narrators. Enjoy.
1. Duck and Cover
The message of Duck and Cover is simple: turtles are impervious to nuclear attacks. If you’re not a turtle and/or you don’t have a shell, a desk, table, or even your hands will suffice. Also: watch out for monkeys.
2. The House in the Middle
Who knew cleaning and painting your house could protect you from hydrogen bombs? Actually, the video never really implies that you will survive; just that your house will still be standing, or will burn more slowly. At the very least, whatever is left of your body will be in a tidy house. That alone should be comforting to the rescue crews, assuming anyone survived the nuclear holocaust long enough to find out. Isn’t that reassuring?
3. Medical Aspects of Nuclear Radiation
Okay, this one is a little long. But did you know that your body is run by tiny dwarfs? Or that you have “sex cells” which are conveniently off-screen? Or that a toupee is “treatment” for radiation exposure? They did have one good piece of advice about a nuclear blast: “Be somewhere else when it happens.” Wow, thanks for that advice.
Now that you’ve seen these videos, I’m sure you’re an expert in surviving a nuclear blast. Especially if you’re a disembodied 1950’s narrator. Good luck, and don’t forget to keep your desk tidy.
About Eric
Travel, movies, comedy, tech, and whatever I find on the streets of San Francisco.
Contact: mrericsir “at” gmail.com
Categories
Tags
16thmission ameritrip2019 art bart cats chicago clarionalley coffee covid-19 dolores park europe food graffiti greece gregg turkington history humor immersive los angeles mexico mission movies muni munimetro murals museums Music nonchalance northbaytrip2019 on cinema photos public transportation Rant restaurants san diego san francisco soma streetart television the jejune institute tim heidecker trailers travel videos wtf